NAME: Stephen Fletcher
D.O.B: 26/1/1988 (soon be time for the lizard drink FIetch)
POSITION: Centre of Mid-field
OCCUPATION: Porn star (that explains why you're always skint)
BIRTH PLACE: Harrogate (posh git)
PREVIOUS CLUBS: Markington & Squirrel (such high aspirations)
FAV. TEAM: Ripon City 'A' (well it is the next natural step in your career)
FAV. PLAYER: AlexDunn
BEST FOOTBALL MEMORY: When Alex had a shot in 2004/5 season
WORST FOOTBALL MEMORY: Today
LIKES: Sex and Beer (typical man - can't do it the other way round)
DISLIKES: Sunday League Football (yet still he turns up - what a star)
IF YOU COULD BE ANYONE ELSE WHO WOULD YOU BE: Alex
FAV. SONG: PJ & Duncan - Ready to Rumble
FAV. FILM: The Goonies
FAV. FOOD: Sid's Chilli
FAV. DRINK: Beer and Lilt
FAV. HOBBY: Curling (I think he means his hair, just so shiny and well
conditioned)
WHO DO YOU ADMIRE MOST IN THE WORLD: N00 (what happened to
Alex - had a lovers tiff have we?)
Chairman's Comments:
Oh what a sweetie! I love the way he lowers his eye's and looks up at you under
his fringe - very coy and very sexy! If he didn't get pissed and fall asleep by
7.00p.m. he could do some real damage out there. Stephen (hope you don't mind
me calling you that Stephen?) is also good with dogs (the canine variety although
he has probably had his fair share of the other kind - Tom Leeming take note)
and he likes to give Max a kiss & cuddle now and again! As for his football
prowess what can I say - he is a great athlete and on his day could give N00 Noo
a run for his money. A great asset to the club both on and off the pitch, without
him who would we take the piss out off? Love & kisses always, your devoted
Chairlady. xx